cause if you really care

than you take the hit. even if it breaks your heart.
are you waiting for your real life to begin? so am i. poised at the edge of the world just tempted to leap and see where i land.
this is a story about feeling bad and feeling better. late night searches and early morning hunts for the feeling of being alive. all the minutes and hours in between are just ticking moments of sucking on air to try to turn this animated corpse into something that isnt too pale. each look telling of other people's lips, and hey; i'm just as guilty. Three smashes of the hammer echo through this room of "guilty, guilty, guilty". and yeah go ahead and bet that things would get better, but i'm too bitter and your too gutless. The charade is over, this disguise is too difficult to hold up. Id rather wait for blood to pump through my head and throb these eyes back into reality.
id rather wish i never heard your voice.
a showcase full of bruised trophies of lessons learned the hard way.

dried up well

of inspiration. of words. the weight of this block around my neck gets heavier everytime i see a pen and paper. everytime i see blank screen. makes me want to see if i can sink to the bottom of the ocean...
what the hell was i ever thinking.....used to care but nowadays its just what gets me by on a 24 hour watch. neither alive or dead. one day i'm a wreck, the next day i'm doing fine. stop flipping the switch in my head before i rip it out and throw it through your window. nothing makes me smile more than thinking about slashing your tires and smashing your windows, pissing on your doorstep (where eagles dare to swallow whole). haha.

and this city sleeps....

and robs everything that you think of at night. its not your friend, its the one who smiles and then scowls the second you turn your back. each minute is given and taken away at the most specific of moments to ruin your chances of taking control of the full potential of the situation. either you win or you lose.