the room chokes

as the smell of death rots everyone's noses. The stench of hearts that can no longer beat, the smell of skin that can no longer hold, veins that can no longer pump blood. Now he stands there and looks around at those who wait for death. if only he could save them........

has it ever occurred to you when you will die?

you need to give it all up before you can give it all away. whats the point of giving away something then still missing it?
lost and confused, repeating themes that shouldnt be a surprise
its been years and ages since iv been driven to insomnia by my own madness.
pounding out the insanity until i thought i got it all.
still think i did.......
but who knows, relapsing is what i'm all about, just ask my dogs
starving and bleeding myself to hit rock bottom just to get that feeling back of writing and feeling more like a human.
sitting in corners, sipping on a drink that burns and kills.
running tongue over numb lips, fingering the ashtray.
this is my retirement plan.
saving up to just be a perfect mess.

cant shake old habits

and i'll just blame myself. too much hate to go around, you always end up just hating yourself in the end. fuck watching my life pass me by.