About to burst at the seams

and i just want to be caught and not let splattered on the floor
can't repair myself with broken pieces- glued and taped for a 6 year old's project
eyes widen
mouth dry
parched lips
goosebumps and butterflies
almost alive for the first time in a while
cash in all my secrets
leave me with an empty pocket or two
decisions decisions.......
almost wished i smoked- lighting and discarding lights like dreams and thoughts
friends/ lovers
just another pack for another 10
smile at that smile
though while fleeting
eyes down
mouth shut
hands in pockets
empty handed
standing
waiting
another minute turns into another hour
oh how the arm of fate swings- up and down with the wind
either have the materials or the motivation
neither both at the same time