someone like you...

hello ghosts.

this is a letter from me to you

from a place i can't describe to a place i can't reach

i'm old and rusted

laying in my grave drifting off to sleep

(express elevator to hell)

locked up your voice in a jar

i don't know what i need

stealing smiles and laughs

a con artist at getting by in life

looking down and every time its something i don't want to see

staring at the water and thinking of falling in

its a long fall but i'll show this town how to live

in style, out style

die in, die out

i'll prove what it means to not hide

from ghosts or my haunted grounds

driving on flat tires down broken roads

we were born today

the skies opened

and dropped their love and hate

we opened our hands and arms and mouths

to catch every last drop

there was no sun to see

but light could still be seen

and we caught as much as we could

as it filled all of our voids and holes

we thought we were finally full

but it turns out we were standing in sinking boats

the rhythms of water eating our bodies

made me want to keep you closer

please stay closer.

i am a tourist to myself

i am empty

running something past fumes

maybe i'm not moving at all

legs churning and breath is fast

burning in my body and heart

but i stay here

suspended

hanging

tongue and soul wrapped around my throat

looking through the window but wanting to jump out of it

one foot in the grave

one foot in the door

looking at myself and seeing more of myself to lose

open my chest and my head

and pour it all out on plates and books

tell me how it tastes

tell me how it flows

a good read or a bore

help me understand.

when this heart stops ticking:

will you miss walking to the beat?

is there nothing past this smile and eyes

except empty hope for golden coasts

thinking all the time

wishing wrongs into rights

i used to obsess

high pressures and low winds

someone once told me:

dream big.

maybe they knew what it meant

or maybe they didn't

but i know that nobody knows

how to take a step forward

or take a step back

from you or the future

cloudy magic 8 balls

scarred palms to read

someone once told me:

some people just can't make it

maybe they knew what it meant

or maybe they didn't

it could be that they are on their own

or they just dont know how to love

others or themselves

can you exist without that beat to your chest?

someone once told me:

all of this has been said before and said again

too many times to count and too many times to care

lonely souls searching cold nights for something to call a friend

someone once told me:

in this world and the next- in our bodies and yours: we are all tourists.

i am all of the above.

Falling asleep again

Lay down, rest my head

lay down, rest my mind

lay down, rest my soul

the dreams i dreamt are no longer the same

the rivers have dried and the skies are no longer blue

the dirt was dry and the wind was cold

this world i thought i once loved is no longer

the smiles no longer lingered

and the hearts were no longer warm

my dreams have become skeletons of my past

as everything i thought i loved has begun to finally disappear

Maybe this is me waking

to a world that is not what i thought

this stomach turns inside out

as i finally woke with a pounding in my chest

i no longer know what to believe

as my dreams are now my world

please help me wake to the right one